Habit and Identity Formation
We all know that meditation provides myriad benefits and yet so few of us are able to stick to a dedicated or even half-hearted meditation practice. When it comes to making habits that stick, one principle we can lean on is repetition as it plays a roll in identity formation. I have to agree with Tony Robbins that the strongest force in the universe is identity. James Clear, author of “Atomic Habits,” masters the connection between habit formation and identity by highlighting that if we want to stick to a new habit, we must become the type of person who does that habit.
Clear describes this as making a vote for the type of person you want to be. And just like voting, you don’t need 100% to win, you just need to do it the majority of the time. So when developing your own meditation habit, it may make more sense to meditate for brief sessions throughout the day because each time you pause to practice meditation, you make a vote for the type of person you would like to be: a meditator.
Runners run, bakers bake and meditators meditate.
Micro-Meditation
This is the beauty of “The Dental Hygiene Method,” that I am utterly obsessed with. The thinking goes, If you can brush your teeth twice a day for two mintes, then you can meditate twice a day for two minutes. One key difference between tooth brushing and meditation is that you feel good if you do it and gross if you don’t. In order to truly leverage this method, we need to stick to a meditation style that we feel the benefits from when we do it and feel discomfort if we don’t do it.
What if your friend says they love one style of meditation and all the research supports it, and it’s the best thing since sliced bread, changed their life, etc… but you don’t like it? No worries, that’s not the style for you. And if you feel a post-meditation glow from listening to guided breath work? Bingo. That’s the secret sauce for you.
Added Motivation
To make this habit truly sticky, you may be motivated by checking it off your to-do list or using the “don’t break the chain” method popularized by Jerry Seinfeld. If you are motivated by doing things with others, you may benefit from doing a meditation challenge with others or finding an accountability partner. For me, I am motivated by time spent alone (wow, shock of my life that I ended up with a blog) so I love setting aside a few minutes throughout the day to unplug and be alone.
In the early days of a new habit, we need the carrot and stick mentality of experiencing discomfort when we don’t do the habit and benefit when we do. By practicing meditation in many little sessions throughout the day, we get the carrot more often! This expedites the process of integrating “meditator” as part of our identity. Before long, the habit is a part of who we are so far less effort needs to be put in to it.
You’ll know you’ve truly made something a part of your identity once you start sentences with “I’m the type of person who…”
We can further speed up this technique by refering to meditation with the word “my” to connect it more closely to the deepest part of ourselves. Something like, “It’s time to do my meditation practice,” instead of, “It’s time to meditation.” This is the opposite of cognitive distancing.
Some of you are saying, “What about those people who meditate once per day or go on silent retreats?” If you feel called to do that, please do. It’s a wonderful strategy for the right person at the right time, but if it hasn’t worked for you yet, you may achieve greater success with micro meditations throughout the day.
To sum up:
- Once a habit becomes a part of our identity, sticking to it becomes far more likely.
- Doing habits more often integrates them into our identity.
- We are more likely to stick to habits if we feel some degree of pleasure (carrot) by doing them and pain (stick) when we don’t do them.
- Choose your meditation style so you can feel the benefits from doing it and lack of benefits from skipping it.
- Using the word “my” can speed up the process of identity formation. Ex. “my meditation practice”, “my little habit”, “my special self-care time”.
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Check out James Clear’s “Atomic Habits” anywhere books are sold. https://jamesclear.com/atomic-habits
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